[marlenka]

 Наташка предложила проект в стиле грандж.
два вокала + клавиши. 
я согласилась) почему бы и не попробовать...

это тексты. что бы не потерять.
а то я свою тетрадку с текстами в эстонии забыла.

Effects of Happiness

Effects of Happiness

all the still frame shots of love
lips to lips, they call it bliss
want more until nothing is enough
meaning slowly fades from the kiss

happiness, it's an interesting thing
those that want it, can't have it
happiness, what more could it bring
most that have it, don't deserve it

the longer it lasts the less we feel
so numb to the things I once adored
alone, wondering if it was ever real
just a game to play when I was bored

crimson lips have poisoned my dreams
stripped me of my innocence long ago
I will never forget the way he screams
if I can forgive, I may never know

afraid my bed will never burn so bright
so seductive, he knew me all to well
now he calls me closer to the light
closer to the trap of my own personal hell

Edge of Darkness

Edge of Darkness

how do I escape the darkness
growing in my mind
how do I escape the darkness
growing in my heart

I'll lay down and leave it all behind
lay down and leave it all behind
I'll lay down and bite the bullet
lay down and bite the bullet

I'm standing on the edge of darkness
with the Reapers hand on my back
I'm falling from the edge of darkness
the angels never even had my back

the door stands wide open
as the darkness edges near
my silence screams her name
as darkness steals my breath away

how do I escape the darkness
growing in my mind
how do I escape the darkness
growing in my heart

winding through the halls
the light goes dim inside
hard to see through the dark
because the fire has died

through the darkness I can see
only silhouettes of life and death
as shadows stay here constantly
fear the darkest corners of the mind

my eyes plays tricks on me
is that really him that I see?
or just another delusional fantasy
his ghost remains to haunt me

trapped in a childish nightmare
it wasn't my fault he's gone
so why am I running scared
since the night that he died

Play The Game

Play The Game

standing at the table
finally ready to play the game
but I've already lost my way
given up the story book fable
change the scene but it's the same
how do we lose before we play

have no conscience
feel no regret
just play the game
like you're never gonna lose
everything's left behind
pretend it doesn't matter
just play the game

watch as hope has failed
take a shot but always miss
and let the confidence fade
crash as a train derailed
longing for a meaningful kiss
the game is over that I played

the room is spinning
as we crash and burn
the same mistake made again
there's no hope of winning
and we will never learn
to change, where do I begin

now I'm standing by
watching others play and win
getting everything I had wanted
now I would rather die
than join in fashionable sin
everything needed isn't what I wanted

surrounded with plastic smiles
and more than plastic friends
get what they want and leave
want to shatter plastic smiles
and destroy fake ass friends
then question why I don't believe

tired and drunk
forget the rules
play my own game
between the sheets
I always win

the game is over
the alcohol is gone
the faces have left
the man is alone again
left with the same emptiness
just playing the game

She's Going Down

She's Going Down

SHE CAN'T FEEL HER LIFE ANYMORE
SHE'S JUST ANOTHER FUCKING WHORE

she's an angel stripped of her wings
as she falls to the bed once again
silencing the words her heart sings
the mistakes still staining her skin

oh she's going down, down, down
and she's surely gonna drown
oh she's been around, 'round, 'round
and she never stops going down

THE STAINS ON HER DRESS
SHE'S A FUCKED UP MESS
THE DIRT ON HER KNEES STAYS
HER HEART IS ALL THAT PAYS

ALL SHE KNOWS IS TO PLEASE
IT'S SUCH A SINFUL DISEASE
ON HER BACK IS THE ONLY WAY
MAYBE THIS WILL MAKE HIM STAY

she knows the taste of impurity all too well
she knows how the demons feel in her hell

PUT OUT OR GET OUT
is all she thinks there is
PUT IT IN, PULL IT OUT
and this is how she lives

21 Lifeless Years

21 Lifeless Years

today marks the day
that another year has passed
why don't I feel okay
every year is worse than the last

feelings use to come so strong
before I knew how cold this world can be
now I feel like I've done it all wrong
like there's no real emotion inside of me

21 years with nowhere to go
the smiles shattered against my hand
21 years with nothing to show
things haven't happened like I planned
21 years and scars are all I know
maybe I do belong beneath the sand

there's only blood stained memories
I remember the pictures and how they burned
buried my feelings to hide how I bleed
living without trust is easier I've learned

why must I be filled with this regret
for all the chances that I never took
fucked it up with every boy I ever met
making them never even take a second look

I've always been a legend in my own mind
but never showed that side of me
it's hard to see when I keep them blind
never knowing who I could really be

keeping the burning inside like infection
let it bottle up, let the bottle explode
keeping this all inside for everyones protection
let it all come out, there'd be no more hope

sitting alone on this birthday of mine
feeling like hate with no reason why
to find happiness we must all stand in line
instead of waiting forever I'd rather die

Forget Your Fairy Tale

Forget Your Fairy Tale

I don't care if I offend you
every word that I say about your god
is meant to make you second guess your belief
you think that every bit of luck you've had
has been the work of a higher power
it was chance and your savior doesn't give a shit

stop telling me how much he has helped you
this faithless sinner doesn't give a fuck about it
when you've lived through what I've been through
then you'll throw away your belief and learn to forget

forget your fairy tale god
your faith has been in a fraud
when you realize there's no one up above
you will feel that in this world there is no love

do you think that this new found belief
will wash away all your sins and bring relief
there is no hope for we who are so damn hopeless
don't force faith in those who choose to be faithless

take what I say as an insult if you will
and preach to me like I will listen to a thing you say
I live this life for every little thrill
and you live worrying about what's a sin everyday

live like you never have before
live like you never will again
live like you will never die
live like you will make every moment yours

you won't ever make me change my mind
I have no patience for you fucking kind
you are no better than me and never will be
worship a false god who will never exist to me

live every moment you have left in fear
working for a perfect after life
who told you it will ever come
I live like every moment is here
working to make this my only life
hoping I'll never feel that numb

Never Know Anyone

Never Know Anyone

There you are with all your problems
sit in your corner little boy
you love to see how it will bleed
that body is a gift not a toy
it doesn't matter how much pain you cause
there is still problems you will never avoid

the world doesn't owe you a damn thing
no one sees you 'til you leave the shadows
this place is cold and you'll never warm it
but you'll go on believing no one knows
everyone has their problems they hide away
they put on happy faces like actors in television shows

you'll never know anyone 'til you shut your mouth
you'll never know anyone 'til you open your ears
we'll never know anyone 'til we learn to care
no one ever knows anyone 'til they try

there you are with all your problems
hide behind a plastic smile little girl
you smile and laugh like nothing's wrong
problems inside that you never show the world
never matters how much you're hurting
until it crashes down in one final swirl

you're running from everything, running from everything
always shine, never let it show
until the day you're taken away
and the reasons they'll never know
no one could ever really know you
until you were running out of days..